If Godzilla had an iPod, would you be more frightened, because he really wouldn't be paying attention to where he was walking?

I know I haven't done one of these in a few weeks, and I feel kinda bad about it. I actually get a kick out of them, because they are catharsis for my otherwise miserable existence. So, enough of the jibber-jabber, let's get down to business.

1. CRADLE OF FILTH –“Scorched Earth Erotica”from Bitter Suites to Succubi
~ Nothing says“Friday”like some good old-fashioned gothic-tinged evil metal. But seriously, CoF is actually a fun band to listen to once you get past all the Hellraiser-esque pageantry. I don't know of many bands that can put so many different styles of music into one song, and that is something that always drew me to CoF – their ability to keep me guessing. Jolly stuff!

2. SAM KINISON – Wild Thing”from Youth Gone Wild Vol.2
~ Well, here's a little blast from the late 1980s. I remember the video that got tons of MTV airplay with Slash and all those 80s rockers acting goofy. But with Sam Kinison as ringleader, what did you really expect? I still giggle when I hear the line, "Every time I kiss you, I taste what other men had for lunch!" Hahahaha.

3. MARVIN HAMLISCH –“Nobody Does It Better (instrumental)”from The Spy Who Loved Me
~ And now we cool things off a little with a romantic ditty from one of Roger Moore's most underrated James Bond flicks. While I typically have something against an older James Bond score that isn't composed by John Barry, this one had a bit of charm, despite it being largely disco-based.

4. LOREENA MCKENNITT –“Cymbeline”from The Visit
~ Okay, so we go from tranquil to esoteric. I've always loved McKennitt's ability to weave multiple cultures within one composition. She has this uncanny knack to make Middle Eastern-Celtic-folk-New Age music sound like a legitimate genre. I just wish she's put albums out more often.

5. RICHARD CHEESE – "Stand Up (Ludacris cover)”from I'd Like a Virgin
~ And now all bets are off. If you can make it through a Richard Cheese song and not laugh, you’re a cold, cold person...if you’re human at all. I suppose people look at him like a second rate Weird Al Yankovic, but there’s sincerity to Cheese's performances that Yanky fans really take for granted. You have to give it to a guy who can turn a hardcore rap song into a sultry lounge performance.

6. GOD DETHRONED – The Poison Apple (Eve & Serpentio in the Garden of Eden)”from Ravenous
~ Back on the metal tip, we've got one of the scariest songs I've ever heard. Seeing the band do it live is even more frightening. It's got cutthroat precision, a happy Biblical story, and jaw-dropping guitar solos. While there really aren't a lot of Dutch metal bands that make waves on the international scene, I'm really glad God Dethroned is one of them. Their music is an honest combination of Beauty and the Beast in one mutated organism.

7. THE MEATMEN –“Centurions of Rome”from Rock 'n’Roll Juggernaut
~ I remember when I first heard this song, years ago; I didn't know what to make of it, other than that I loved it immediately. It was like a punk band trying to be Manowar. Eventually, it became sort of an underground fist-banging anthem. If you ever get a chance to see The Meatmen live, I guarantee that you'll be in for an interesting experience. For some reason, while I adore bands that take their craft seriously, I also dig a lot of bands that do it wholly for the fun of it.

8. RAMMSTEIN – "Benzin”from Rosenrot
~ Not my favorite song off of Rammstein's sorely under-appreciated 2006 release, but it does capture the band's unique energy. Rammstein's music intrigues me, because it's like romantic Frankenstein music. It's stiff to the point of rigor mortis, but it breathes with a definite passion. It really is difficult to put into words, but if you open your mind to them, they'll get their meathooks into you.

9. D12 – "UR the One”from D12 World
~ It sounds weird, but this is actually D12's unapologetic attempt at being romantic...well, as romantic as a foul-mouthed, Eminem-acquainted rap group can be. Needless to say, I find myself being amused more than feeling their message. But really, is D12 even designed to be taken seriously?

10. PANTERA – "Rock the World”from Power Metal
~ And closing out our little adventure today is one of those rare numbers that Pantera (and Atlantic Records) has tried to bury for nearly 20 years. This song comes from Phil Anselmo’s 1988 debut with Pantera, when the band was pretty, and Phil sang like his nuts were clamped firmly in a vice. To be fair, it's actually not as bad as most people like to think. Granted, there is a heavy Judas Priest influence on the music (and Phil's voice), but you could already tell the band had a passion for their craft. Honestly, I think more people need to be aware of this album, because it is a classy piece of metal...and it's fun to look at those outrageous hairdos!